This is the true story, of how I stopped a friend from getting the worst tattoo in the history of tattoos.
It's the early 1990's.
We're in a tattoo parlour checking out the books. C (my friend) is waiting for the guy who owns the place to come back and do her tattoo.
She's been waiting for a while and getting a little impatient.
Another tattoo artist is there and asks her what she was thinking about getting. It's kind of starting to look like C is going to go with him, if he can let her see what she wants.
I'm thinking (at this point) that this isn't the Hair Cuttery and she shouldn't just take the next tattoo artist that's up. I mean if you really think about it, a bad haircut will grow out, an ugly tattoo is there for life.
Anyway, the guy is asking her what she's looking for and she says she wants a cute turtle...kind of cartoonish looking...small...for her ankle
He proceeds to draw the ugliest turtle in the history of ugly turtles.
I mean...it was actually scary looking...the stuff nightmares are made out of.
She looks at me for help and I say...well...maybe a little more cartoony (emphasis on the cartoon here people) and maybe a little cuter?
Then C says and wearing a top hat.
He proceeds to draw THE EXACT SAME TURTLE DANCING WITH A TOP HAT!!
He looks at her like he just finished drawing the Mona Lisa or something and says...okay...are you ready to get it?
She's looking at me for help and I actually think she's considering getting it so she won't hurt the guy's feelings, or some crazy thing like that.
I look at her like she's insane, turn to the guy and say...uh...no...thank you (Mr. Blade or Weasel or whatever your name is)...she'll just wait for the owner.
So crisis averted.
She did eventually get the tattoo she wanted, from the owner...who coincidentally did mine too.
Don't freak out. It's a small tattoo of a dolphin on my ankle...nothing ginormous or in a spot that will sag with time.
What does this have to do with the lotion you see here?
Well, after you get a tattoo, you should of course take care of it. I mean, it's going to be a part of you for life.
This is a one of the products in a new line of tattoo after-care.
It's genius, because anyone with a tattoo knows you should always cover it up with sunscreen before heading out in the sun.
Tattoo Potion Number 1 with SPF 30 ($19.99) is made with all natural ingredients to keep your skin feeling smooth and healthy, while protecting your tat from fading.
Counting tapioca as an ingredient, it's reportedly able to keep sand from sticking to your body as well.
With two other products in their line...Tattoo Potion Number 9 Aftercare and Tattoo Potion Number 7 Longevity...they plan on keeping your tattoos looking their best.I don't think they can do anything for ugly dancing turtles though.
photo courtesy of tattoopotion.com